Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Lately I have spoken with several ladies about my discipline system and interest was expressed on how to implement it. To get started download and print the DISCIPLINE CARDS on card stock and laminate for durability. This is not an argument on how to discipline, so on that note I left the cards open to interpretation. The idea is that you will enforce the levels of discipline that your child requires, and what you feel comfortable with. Although for the cards to work, each card needs an assigned discipline that doesn't change. The child needs to be able to predict the consequences of their actions. For best practice of this system you should have house rules that are specific enough for the child to understand what is expected of them. Simply put your child should know what's expected of them, their expectations should match their abilities, and the child should be able to predict the outcome of their actions with certainty and clarity.
What brought me to this system? We are a blended family, we have a gifted child, and two children that had behavior problems. I was almost bald headed ;) when I came up with the cards. I needed something simple to operate and that would work with all the children and their different needs. We have been using the card system for over three years now and they work as well today as they did the first week. Consistency is the key. Mean what you say and say what you mean.
Another benefit to Discipline Cards is having the children taking responsibility for their own actions. It's the closest I've been able to come in teaching real life consequences. When they disobey, they have to pull their own cards. They are in charge of their behavior, and their consequences. They know if they disobey then the consequence will be to pull a card. If the child has already pulled two cards that day then they know what the next cards consequence is and it is their choice whether they want to accept that consequence in order to disobey. They soon learn that life choices have consequences.
Another wonderful unexpected lesson my children have learned is that everyday truly is a new day! You can start fresh and make better choices than yesterday. You start everyday having a SUPER day and it's your choice if you want to keep it that way or not.
The frustration, resentment, and anger is wiped away because your child's behavior is now totally a reflection of their own relationship with the Lord and not a reflection on you.
Instilling the discipline cards into our family has been a blessing to everyone involved.
My family and I are so happy to share them with you and your families. I truly hope they bless your family as much as they have mine.
1. Print out the cards
2. Use a small envelope or a plastic sleeve to keep the cards in
3. Put the cards in order
4. Assign a meaning or discipline to each card
5. Go over household rules and expectations
6. Explain to the child when they disobey they will take the first card and put it behind the rest. The card that is showing is their current stage of discipline. If they need to pull another card then the card that is showing will be placed behind the others and then the next stage of discipline will be revealed.
7. Decide what the STOP card means to your family. It may mean impromptu nap time or an hour spent alone in ones bedroom, or a loss of privilege. That is up to you, but choose wisely because this is the last card of the day.
8. Make sure the children understand that their consequences are in their hands, and their choice to obey and disobey is the deciding factor.
9. Get started ready to follow through